Doctor’s orders are really just loose suggestions
If you have the opportunity to be in a group interview, take it
Make sure to carve out time during your day to argue with people on Twitter
There’s no such thing as a food allergy
The news should be an essential part of your morning and nighttime routines
Go to the dentist, but only once every four years and completely sober
No matter how much they seem like they don’t want to be bothered, every cat wants to be held
Jenny McCarthy has a podcast. Listen to it.
Picking the middle seat…
Dear Pastor Falls,
It’s me: The guy that sings “Lord I Lift Your Name On High” so loudly that he can be heard on the other side of the sanctuary. I’ve missed our post-sermon chats over these past several months since I still haven’t been able to catch you before you end the Zoom webinar. Also, I think my emails are getting lost because I haven’t received responses to any of my prayer requests for some time. So, I’m sending this letter by certified mail to ask you to please, for the love of God, bring back in-person services.
Swim in the beautiful and radioactive Hudson River
Take the ferry to Staten Island and stay the hell over there
Ask a New Yorker to guide you through Hudson Yards before they push you off the roof
Yearn for your childhood by taking selfies with a drunk Elmo in Times Square
Take a dip in the Gowanus Canal at dawn
Hop on the A train and ride it to the literal end of the Earth
Explore all the soul crushing Penn Station with your gal pals
Find love during a night-time stroll on a hot, Tuesday night after the garbage…
Spencer Meade is a comedy writer and performer originally from a small town in Wisconsin, but currently living in Brooklyn. Find him on IG @spennyislennie.